...BUT...hopefully sometime soon...or ever. Last Fall thru the end of the year, last year, I felt led and a desire was placed in my heart to go on a missions trip and possibly quite a few. I've prayed about it and talked to David about it and felt the Lord telling me to get our passports, but I haven't done so. YIKES! The New Year began and I got swept up with everyday life and then before I knew it, I started working full time so my heart has been at bay with that topic with the whirlwind of life filling all my thoughts. Over the last month God has been knocking on my heart and speaking a little louder this time. I feel privilleged that God has approached me about this yet a 2nd time and hasn't just moved on and that I missed out on a really cool blessing, to bless others and show obedience to Christ.
My first step was on Saturday. On our way to lunch, we were approaching a Post Office (yes, they still have them!) and last minute, I asked David to pull over so I could run inside real quick. I ran inside and grabbed 5 passport applications. This is the first step in my obedience and quite a huge one if you ask me! :-)
David, Trevor and Jackson are on board for a missions trip and have been for a while. Nathan? The jury is still out on his thoughts. :-) Not sure if David has a specific place in mind, but we both have agreed that Haiti sounds pretty perfect to start. Trevor wants to go to India, Jackson is a die hard fan of Haiti. Haiti was all that Jackson could talk about for about a month!
I am walking out in faith on this. We don't have the money for a missions trip (don't even know how that works) and time off work would be difficult for both David and I. HOWEVER, I'm talking about God here! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR OUR GOD. He would have never placed this desire and speak so clear to me about this if it weren't possible. My attitude is, we will apply for passports and go through that process so that way, when God says 'GO', we're ready and we're going with our passports.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Just So Thankful!
In the spirit of feeling the need to stay positive even during challenging times; I must say, I am so thankful for the understanding and compassion that people in the community continue to show my family and I while I am now a working mom.
Being as though it's summer time, now is the time that I like to make special appointments for the boys such as the dentist, eye Dr, with Trevor and Jackson's birthdays' falling in the summer, this also includes their annual physical. Well, Tammy has taken the boys to the dentist (this was a new dentist to us so I had already filled out the paper work ahead of time and faxed in our insurance info) and then just today, Trevor to the eye Dr (who sees him/us all the time so no biggie) and I have got say, our professionals are SO CARING AND KIND!!! They both have called me after to explain everything and give me their professional opinions and game plans. This is just AMAZING to me and clearly a whole lot of grace! Big bummer that I cannot be there myself to comfort my kids (if needed) during the appointment but we do discuss it before I leave for work and then we go over any questions they have then too. But to be able to hear 1st hand from the Dr's right after the appointments is just so appreciated! The other cool thing is that their Pediatrician's office is open on Saturdays so I can/have make/made their physicals on a Saturday which is just so awesome so that way I can attend w/out taking time off work and be able to get my questions answered in person...and most importantly, be there for my little men during their Dr appointment.
My heart is filled with gratitude.
Being as though it's summer time, now is the time that I like to make special appointments for the boys such as the dentist, eye Dr, with Trevor and Jackson's birthdays' falling in the summer, this also includes their annual physical. Well, Tammy has taken the boys to the dentist (this was a new dentist to us so I had already filled out the paper work ahead of time and faxed in our insurance info) and then just today, Trevor to the eye Dr (who sees him/us all the time so no biggie) and I have got say, our professionals are SO CARING AND KIND!!! They both have called me after to explain everything and give me their professional opinions and game plans. This is just AMAZING to me and clearly a whole lot of grace! Big bummer that I cannot be there myself to comfort my kids (if needed) during the appointment but we do discuss it before I leave for work and then we go over any questions they have then too. But to be able to hear 1st hand from the Dr's right after the appointments is just so appreciated! The other cool thing is that their Pediatrician's office is open on Saturdays so I can/have make/made their physicals on a Saturday which is just so awesome so that way I can attend w/out taking time off work and be able to get my questions answered in person...and most importantly, be there for my little men during their Dr appointment.
My heart is filled with gratitude.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Mommy for President!
Me: Sorry Nathan I was late, but the President is staying near my work while he's in town so they closed all the gates to my work so we couldn't leave.
Nathan: Well, that's not nice.
Me: You're right and it's a waste of the time I get with you guys.
Nathan: My teacher said that the President makes the rules but soon we will be deciding who we want as our President next to make all the rules.
Me: Your teacher is right.
Nathan: Well since you make all the rules, I think you should be the next President so you can change the rules!
Me (laughing): I think you're right!
Nathan: Well, that's not nice.
Me: You're right and it's a waste of the time I get with you guys.
Nathan: My teacher said that the President makes the rules but soon we will be deciding who we want as our President next to make all the rules.
Me: Your teacher is right.
Nathan: Well since you make all the rules, I think you should be the next President so you can change the rules!
Me (laughing): I think you're right!
It's A Balancing Act
I think I've hit my 90ish day mark as a working mom. To say it's hard, exhausting, frustrating and depressing is an understatement. The 9-6, M-F job itself isn't hard. It's the balancing act of work merging with my personal life, lane; That's the hard part...
The best way to describe my job is like this...
Shark Tank (TV show) meets Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead (movie from the early 90's) meets my original hectic and organized chaotic life (my reality)!
The juggling act is never ending but with no mystery, we manage to get by, by God's grace. I'm always asked by people in my personal life and in my work environment, which is harder; being a stay at home mom or a working mom. My answer is always, "it's about the same, but for different reasons". I really think it is. In both roles, there are the classic perks and challenges that come with any circumstance or "job". Hands down being a stay-at-home mom is my career choice because what I consider perks in that role, are the biggest challenges I face in the working mom role. This change though has certainly brought shifts in the dynamic of our household, mostly for the positive.
The best way to describe my job is like this...
Shark Tank (TV show) meets Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead (movie from the early 90's) meets my original hectic and organized chaotic life (my reality)!
The juggling act is never ending but with no mystery, we manage to get by, by God's grace. I'm always asked by people in my personal life and in my work environment, which is harder; being a stay at home mom or a working mom. My answer is always, "it's about the same, but for different reasons". I really think it is. In both roles, there are the classic perks and challenges that come with any circumstance or "job". Hands down being a stay-at-home mom is my career choice because what I consider perks in that role, are the biggest challenges I face in the working mom role. This change though has certainly brought shifts in the dynamic of our household, mostly for the positive.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Shout Out To Perry!
Ha! Never in my wildest dreams would I have considered writing anything about our dog...let alone entire blog entry about our four legged friend. :-)
However, props must be given to Perry! This dog has only endured 2 weeks of pet training and yet, you/we can notice a huge difference in the way he carries himself and with his overall behavior. If just 2 classes of training can do THIS much for a pet, I am a full believer and do recommend it to anyone and everyone who has a dog!
Perry can now sit, lay down and stand (from laying down or sitting position) on verbal and hand ques (with or without treats!). This week we're working on "no jumping". Seriously, Perry has caught on quickly and loves all the praises he receives for his obedience.
The whole family is involved too! The trainer is soooo patient and works really well with all of us. The kids can get Perry to do all these commands as well. It's so awesome watching them get empowered to help train and bring up Perry in the appropriate way.
However, props must be given to Perry! This dog has only endured 2 weeks of pet training and yet, you/we can notice a huge difference in the way he carries himself and with his overall behavior. If just 2 classes of training can do THIS much for a pet, I am a full believer and do recommend it to anyone and everyone who has a dog!
Perry can now sit, lay down and stand (from laying down or sitting position) on verbal and hand ques (with or without treats!). This week we're working on "no jumping". Seriously, Perry has caught on quickly and loves all the praises he receives for his obedience.
The whole family is involved too! The trainer is soooo patient and works really well with all of us. The kids can get Perry to do all these commands as well. It's so awesome watching them get empowered to help train and bring up Perry in the appropriate way.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Funny Quote From Jackson Today
Me: Good morning Jackson.
Jackson: Good morning mommy.
Me: Breakfast is on the table. There's sausage, eggs and fruit ready for ya.
Jackson: Sounds good, but what's my main dish?
Me (laughing): Main dish?! All of that IS your main dish.
Jackson: Those are my sides, I need a main dish like cereal with it.
Me: Well OK, if you eat all that I've already served you, then you can have cereal too.
Jackson: OK, I will
Sure enough! Jackson ate all that I originally made for him and then he tackled a bowl of cereal too! I cannot imagine what and how much they'll be eating as pre-teens thru teenage years! Yikes... ;-)
Jackson: Good morning mommy.
Me: Breakfast is on the table. There's sausage, eggs and fruit ready for ya.
Jackson: Sounds good, but what's my main dish?
Me (laughing): Main dish?! All of that IS your main dish.
Jackson: Those are my sides, I need a main dish like cereal with it.
Me: Well OK, if you eat all that I've already served you, then you can have cereal too.
Jackson: OK, I will
Sure enough! Jackson ate all that I originally made for him and then he tackled a bowl of cereal too! I cannot imagine what and how much they'll be eating as pre-teens thru teenage years! Yikes... ;-)
Thursday, May 17, 2012
So Many Thoughts, So Little Time...So Little Direction
I created this blog to partially have a place as my dumping ground for all my wild, creative, deep and at times, short lived thoughts. I wanted to have this blog as a central place to refer back to sweet memories, document celebratory times in my life and in the life of my children. Those are just a few of the reasons for this forum.
Lately though, I've been finding myself extremely consumed with the amount of responsibility I have. MANY of my responsibilities are character building and enjoyable, while others are a drag and just part of being an adult; a responsible adult. Sometimes the extreme challenges that I go through with my responsibilities I honestly don't really want to write somewhere because at times I think I don't want to remember these difficult and trying times, sometimes I think when I'm old, I just want to be in complete denial and remember only the best of times with my family and never remember all the struggles I've dealt with, with schools, work, difficult conversations, battle with overeating, the reality of an unjust world and being a control freak at times.
Seriously. I am so sick and tired of being a responsible adult and be surrounded (my children too) by a group and/or a community where half of the adults are completely irresponsible! I am exhausted from having to point out the most obvious safety efforts that should and need to be in place by such a powerful school district. There are several present and past employees (the past still affect my position a bit) who get/have gotten paid for not even doing their job. Parents of kids at my children's school who are completely uninvolved and do not display an ounce of care about their child's behavior or the community and education within their child's school. This week I heard from a school district employee "well that's not in my pay bracket" when I asked him to give a message to a specific person there in the same office. I JUST ABOUT LOST IT!!! I had to refrain from acting out my thoughts for many reasons, but 1 in particular is that I was in my freaking cubical at work finishing up my lunch break! To the best of my ability at the time I said that there are a lot of things that I do that aren't in my pay bracket...good and bad...but I'm a team player, I get paid and I have good work ethics (as I'm having this conversation at work ;-) ) so I do a lot of things that I don't get paid to do, but that's life. Oh man I was furious!!!!
More and more lately the very harsh reality that we live (and am raising my children in) in a VERY.UNJUST. WORLD. My children's generation is being robbed of important life skills. Self control. Honesty. Work Ethics. Responsible Citizen. Pay Taxes (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)...just to name a few. TRUST ME...MY KIDS ARE NO SAINTS AND THEY NEVER WILL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, they are being raised in an environment that supports, pushes and physically works hard to build the community around them to be safe, team effort, leaders and honesty. At the end of each day, I go to bed knowing that I have given my best, I love my children with every ounce of my heart and soul (and not showing love with donuts, soda, Twinkies and endless amount of TV) and the rest, I hand over to God and ask Him to protect and handle it. :-)
Life is hard. I want so badly for my kids to grow up in a world that is filled with responsible, honest, mature people who own their short comings. Not robots, or people who are perfect, just people who are pro-active, who care and give their very best every.single.day.
My birthday is next month and for the last nearly 4 years, I get really "real" with myself and emotional as my birthday approaches. Not sure why but I do. I feel like all my ranting above just ages me like crazy! I'm certain people in their 80's are looking at my generation and below and they must just shake their heads at us with disappointment.
So that's some of my thoughts and feelings over the last month or so... I'll move on now...
Lately though, I've been finding myself extremely consumed with the amount of responsibility I have. MANY of my responsibilities are character building and enjoyable, while others are a drag and just part of being an adult; a responsible adult. Sometimes the extreme challenges that I go through with my responsibilities I honestly don't really want to write somewhere because at times I think I don't want to remember these difficult and trying times, sometimes I think when I'm old, I just want to be in complete denial and remember only the best of times with my family and never remember all the struggles I've dealt with, with schools, work, difficult conversations, battle with overeating, the reality of an unjust world and being a control freak at times.
Seriously. I am so sick and tired of being a responsible adult and be surrounded (my children too) by a group and/or a community where half of the adults are completely irresponsible! I am exhausted from having to point out the most obvious safety efforts that should and need to be in place by such a powerful school district. There are several present and past employees (the past still affect my position a bit) who get/have gotten paid for not even doing their job. Parents of kids at my children's school who are completely uninvolved and do not display an ounce of care about their child's behavior or the community and education within their child's school. This week I heard from a school district employee "well that's not in my pay bracket" when I asked him to give a message to a specific person there in the same office. I JUST ABOUT LOST IT!!! I had to refrain from acting out my thoughts for many reasons, but 1 in particular is that I was in my freaking cubical at work finishing up my lunch break! To the best of my ability at the time I said that there are a lot of things that I do that aren't in my pay bracket...good and bad...but I'm a team player, I get paid and I have good work ethics (as I'm having this conversation at work ;-) ) so I do a lot of things that I don't get paid to do, but that's life. Oh man I was furious!!!!
More and more lately the very harsh reality that we live (and am raising my children in) in a VERY.UNJUST. WORLD. My children's generation is being robbed of important life skills. Self control. Honesty. Work Ethics. Responsible Citizen. Pay Taxes (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)...just to name a few. TRUST ME...MY KIDS ARE NO SAINTS AND THEY NEVER WILL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, they are being raised in an environment that supports, pushes and physically works hard to build the community around them to be safe, team effort, leaders and honesty. At the end of each day, I go to bed knowing that I have given my best, I love my children with every ounce of my heart and soul (and not showing love with donuts, soda, Twinkies and endless amount of TV) and the rest, I hand over to God and ask Him to protect and handle it. :-)
Life is hard. I want so badly for my kids to grow up in a world that is filled with responsible, honest, mature people who own their short comings. Not robots, or people who are perfect, just people who are pro-active, who care and give their very best every.single.day.
My birthday is next month and for the last nearly 4 years, I get really "real" with myself and emotional as my birthday approaches. Not sure why but I do. I feel like all my ranting above just ages me like crazy! I'm certain people in their 80's are looking at my generation and below and they must just shake their heads at us with disappointment.
So that's some of my thoughts and feelings over the last month or so... I'll move on now...
- Looking at a private school for 2 of our 3 boys for next school year
- Looking for more responsibility at work (heck, if I'm gonna be there and away from my kids for 10 hrs/day, keep me busy and let me handle the areas that need more support)
- Starting a new bible study at church...and boy oh boy do I need it! It's about changing yourself through the tools that God has given you. Clearly I need a heart makeover this 5 min! lol
- Baseball season is sooooo close to being done
- Started our family in dog training classes with Perry. David and Perry are doing GREAT! The rest of us are trying so hard but it's not coming as easily as it has been for David.
- Loving my health insurance at work! Total God sent...
- In love with my church and all that it offers to support and help me and my children's relationship with the Lord grow bigger and stronger
- Constantly writing letters and making calls to schools and school district regarding bullying involving Jackson and Nathan (thankfully they're not the bullies)
- Signed another year's lease in our current house
- Recently got a ton of work done on David's car (few minor things left to handle) and we are SO grateful that we actually had money to pay for it all!
- David extremely busy and focused at work
- Fundraiser chair person for Trevor's school, David is the new Treasurer for next year...poor guy...He did not want to do it, but like I said above, no one else in our mighty program stepping up to get involved and be a team player.
- Boys were baptized last Sunday! :-) :-)
- Still struggling with motivation and a routine for working out since I've starting working. IT'S HARD finding a balance!!!
- My skin is breaking out (I have NEVER had to deal with this issue before!). I know my mom will say it's because I'm not taking care of myself...and you know what, she's right! :-/
- Looking for a spiritual based book on raising boys. Trevor is reaching an age and new territory that I think is only specific to boys and I need some major spiritual direction as to how best navigate and direct this age.
- Working on making peace in my heart that the work around this house that is incomplete, that the landlord says semi-regularly they will handle. They will not handle it and so I'm working on making peace with that since we wouldn't move either way.
- We have the BEST NANNY IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING...I hope she's still interested and in the position to help when I have grandkids! No joke!!! :-)
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