"Are you excited"?!

That's the question I get all the time now..."are you excited" (regarding starting work tomorrow)?! I have been honest (never have been good at lying about my feelings. lol) and reply with that "I am excited about the opportunity to put food on the table and a roof over our heads". I'll say this again, I would not be going to work full time if there wasn't such a huge need for me to do so. We've been in "need" before, but this time it's different with now the overall physical health of our family now better, I "need" to contribute to our household income.

I view this opportunity as a huge blessing. God blesses us in many ways. Sometimes things are literally just handed to us, sometimes we're told to "wait" on a prayer request, sometimes it's a flat out "no" because it's not God's will and sometimes, God creates opportunities for us to help ourselves. The latter is still a wonderful blessing and truly a way most Father's would handle a request from their child. I believe the Lord, our heavenly Father, heard my prayer, knew it was the right time for our family and didn't create a money tree in the yard, but created an opportunity to help my family through His gift of this job I start tomorrow.

This week has been filled with tying up loose ends and really start reflecting and processing everything that is about to happen...starting tomorrow. Not that I haven't thought about all these changes, concerns, excitement, etc before, it's just that I have been in hyper focus mode of anticipating potential "issues" or problems that may occur when I start working.

Monday, I took the opportunity to surprise Trevor at school with a picnic lunch on a blanket in front of his school. He loves Costco pizza so I brought him their pizza, churro (my own guilty pleasure!) and a drink. We sat on the blanket talking about baseball, friends at school, his teacher, Tammy (our new Nanny) and about how much we love food! Trevor felt incredibly special and really appreciated my presence at his school. Just as the lunch bell rang, I gave him a BIG hug, I signed him back into class and off we both went in different directions for the next couple of hours. He wasn't physically with me, but boy oh boy was he on my heart and mind for the next couple of hours. I got back into my car and felt convicted to not starting the car, but just sit there in silence, praying to the Lord for Trevor. I prayed for protection, moodiness, fruitful friendships, discernment in our parenting for Trevor, and I prayed for Trevor's future wife.

Tuesday, I took the opportunity to surprise Nathan at his school to read a Dr. Seuss book to the class and then have lunch with him. The book reading went exceptionally well (great audience!) and then we traveled together to the lunch area for some sushi, animal cookies and a vanilla flavored almond milk. Nathan LOVED it all! His classmates do.not.stop.talking. Holy smokes! lol Nathan and I (when we could get a word in with each other), talked about my new job, Tammy, baseball and who in his class were on what set of "rainbow words" (that's the big talk in kinder!). Nathan was so happy to have me there, definitely felt special and wanted me to stay so I could jump rope with him. Sadly, I didn't stay for jump roping, but left to handle more chores at home.

Today...it was Jackson's turn. I took my last opportunity to have lunch with Jackson at school. I brought him his favorite...In-n-Out. Cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milk shake. MUCH to my surprise, Jackson was very affectionate towards me in front of his friends. Based on that kind of reaction, I knew Jackson needed this time with me. ALL of Jackson's friends were so excited for him that he got such a delicious meal AND that his mom was having lunch with him!!! Since I know Jackson has been the one having the hardest time with the idea of me going back to work, I wanted to bring some awareness to him about other working mothers. I casually asked one of his good friends if her mom worked (I already knew she did/does). Hayden replied yes, and that her dad does too. Then of course, you ask one kid, everyone starts spilling the beans about their home life! lol I don't think this made Jackson feel any better, by any means, but I think it helped him to know that he's not the only kid who has both parents working. The time came when I needed to leave. Jackson was crushed.
:-( He started crying and he practically begged me to take him home with me right then. Trust me. It had crossed my mind too, and it took everything in me not to burst into tears myself! I rounded up some of his friends to hang out with him and then I left. The moment I exited the school gates, I bursted into tears and sat in my car for several minutes and just cried. I needed that.

I am going to miss my kids terribly when I am at work. To help, I remind myself that I am not re-inventing the wheel, moms work all the time outside of their home and more often than not, their kids grow up to be mature, responsible citizens (look at my siblings and I!!!). Kids who have had the blessing of a stay at home parent sometimes grow up to be irresponsible, selfish and "failure to launch" adults...so it's all about making the best of it when I am in the presence of my children. I am re-inventing "our" wheel a.k.a. our home life, however, there is a need and that is the only reason I am taking on a full time job. Trevor this morning asked how long I will be working for FOX. I thought that was a very good question...especially since I ask myself that same question often. I told him however long God wants me there. I told him that we need to pray for Daddy's business (David is a power house and works AMAZINGLY hard to provide for our family!), that it will grow super big and then I can come back home full-time. I told him that might be 6 months, 1 year, 3 years or maybe even 5 years from now. "No way mommy", was Trevor's response! We both started laughing and we prayed for David's business. I shared that God may have me there to teach people about the Lord and introduce them to Jesus. Who knows...

Tomorrow is a new day, a new day filled with many new opportunities and a day filled with many more blessings.

Last Few Pages Of This Chapter...

Tomorrow is my last day working as a part-time personal assistant. Today I left feeling surprisingly filled with a lot of emotions about this idea of my last day. Today my boss and I co-interviewed a prospective assistant and we both very much liked this woman. She starts next week.

On my drive home, I was reflecting on my 1 year (nearly to the date!) experience with this family. There were many highs and lows. I had flexible hours, great pay, could (and did!) wear sweat pants to work, wear headphones to listen to music or a section of the Bible while I was filing, loved by this amazingly huge and well behaved dog (I knick-named him Bear...because he looks like one!) and many other fond memories. One other that I will never forget is the support I recieved when I brought Nathan along with me to work in protest/preventative to LAUSD allowing children in Nathan's class who had nits in their hair! They didn't even bat an eye at the idea of having Nathan there...and for that reason. What work place allows you to do that?! It's extremely rare and I am very grateful that at that specific time, I was working for someone who has/had as much passion about LAUSD's crazy policies as I do.

Tomorrow will be difficult and exciting for me. In some ways I feel like I am abandoning this family and in other ways, I feel like I'm growing up because I am entering a traditional, formal work place. I really hope this new assistant has thick skin and takes care of this family, just how well or better as I have. *sigh*

D-Day Is Approaching FAST!

March 1st is creeping up on me quickly...a little too quickly but each day I plug along with my massive "before work to-do list". My work clothes have been purchased, all hemmings have been completed, emergency contact sheets have been updated at the kids' schools (added the Nanny plus David's new work info), each teacher has been contacted with an update of changes that are going on at home, had my yearly medical physical (hey, I didn't shrink this year...amazing...truly!) today, Perry got his rabbies booster shot, got the car washed, day 1 of training our Nanny was this afternoon (God bless this awesome woman!!!), hand delivered David's business cards to stores/companies pimping his accounting services, e-mailed all the baseball coaches and team moms letting them know about the changes in our home, in the process of thinking through and typing up a manual about my children for the Nanny, ordered balloons for Jackson's team for Opening Ceremonies events, calling Dr's and insurance company regarding social skills classes for Trevor, handled my portion of responsibilities for GB NICU Reunion (going to be a blast!), stepped down from the School Site Council Board at Trevor's school (SO BUMMED, but it was the "right" thing to do given my new work load...literally), bought all the last uniform touches for baseball...

My list goes on and on, but it will be completed by March 1st. I'm super impressed even with myself for all that I've been able to accomplish so far on top of my regular day-to-day responsibilities! I feel like this is God preparing me for what it will be like when I am working away from home full-time and yet, still have all these other responsibilities. Kind of like when you're 8 months pregnant and you start waking up every 2 hours at night to go pee...but just like you will be when your newborn arrives home and hungry so you're feeding every 2 hours around the clock! lol

This is the story of my life so whatevs... ;-)

I'd Like To Thank God, Ann Taylor, Suessical the Musical, Family and Friends...

I have received tons of love, support, prayers, well wishes/thoughts, etc over the last several weeks. I had an awesome shopping experience at Ann Taylor with their MAJOR super sale where I purchased a 5 piece suit for barely over $150.00 (originally close to $600.00) for my initial job interview at FOX and was given an obscene amount of attention by the very trendy and friendly sales ladies at Ann Taylor (wrote them each a thank you note and called corporate to share my wonderful experience). Friends have been referring websites or friends for our childcare needs (those needs have been met!) and have been offering a lot of encouragement during this difficult transition.

I know that if I did not have the support of friends and family, it would only make this transition even more difficult! It takes a tribe I tell ya... ;-)

Kids Say The Darnest Things...

Jackson: When I grow up, I want to work at a really great restaurant where I love the food. That way, when I go on break, I can order all of my favorite foods!

************************************************************************************

Trevor: If I were President, I would make a law about no slavery of any kind.

Nathan: If I were President, I would make a law that everyone needs to keep their hands and feet to themselves!

Jackson: If I were President, I would make a law that everyone had to be nice to each other and that everyone has to be friends.

God's Amazing Grace

God's grace is ALWAYS present in my life. I see a lot of it, and I humbly acknowledge that His grace is so much more than a human eye can see. I know that part of His grace, is that He protects me from even being aware of so much evil and harm that surrounds me and/or my family. I am eternally grateful for His protection and grace.

Recently, for whatever reason, I have been especially aware of His grace in my life. To name only a few, I'll share that God's grace was upon us as our neighbor's house was robbed last month, not ours. I do believe our house was in the process to be robbed (6 weeks ago when kids and I home), but Perry scared them away. Two men were following me at the mall this past week and God put it on my gut to be aware of these two men and say something to the sale person at the 4th store they followed me in. I didn't rear-end the person in front of me because they moved up a couple of inches as I was approaching them quickly (not on purpose! lol). Based on symptoms, Nathan "should" have a hernia, but just 3 days before, Nathan was prayed over at church with oil and I believe God's grace has healed him and we're paying a large co-pay for a prescription instead of a large hospital bill, risks involved in surgery, Nathan's mental/emotional well being, etc. We had money to pay rent this month and pay for food. I got a full-time job without going through the burden of looking hard or for a long period of time. My full-time job has amazing health benefits.

I have so many more examples of God's grace on us! All of these things above are only what I am aware of. God goes before me (us) and He road blocks so much more than I could ever fathom.

God has also been bringing several friends or new (new to me) moms in my life that they too, have to go back into the work force in order to make ends meet in their home. No joke, there are 6 other friends (1 of my sisters too...she's a friend also ;-)) that in are in the same situation and have already started working or just about to, like myself. It's not a 'misery loves company' sort of thing, I look at it like it's an opportunity for me and them to lift each other up with encouragement, prayer and those 6 can honestly relate to my circumstances and me, to them.

Glory to God!!!

Making Some Headway...

Well, assuming the more in depth background check comes back normal, we have hired our nanny for the boys! SO MUCH TO DO at this point with getting ready for her to start, but at least the hardest part is hopefully behind us.

Not enough time to write more thoughts...

Mary Poppins, Are You There?!

Over the last 48 hrs I have drummed up interest for our childcare needs. Today I am interviewing not 1, not 2, not 3...but SIX candidates for the position! I have no idea what questions to ask (besides security questions, i.e. driving record) so probably by the 3rd gal, I will have figured it out. lol

Five of the candidates I found on Care.com (recommended by 3 different people!) and the 6th is a T.A. at Nathan's school.

I'm anxious to find someone but I'm not going to rush the process. I know 6 interviews may sound like a lot (and it is) or perhaps rushing, but seriously, I have weeded out approximately 45 initial candidates so these six have moved on to phase 2 in the process. ;-)

Chipping Away...

This weekend I have been able to chip away at many of my projects, including looking for childcare for the boys. I have 26 candidates that I am exchanging e-mails with and so far potentially 2 interviews for Tuesday morning. This childcare search is a full time job in itself!

Still several lengthy tasks to handle but feeling like I am starting to emerge from my overwhelming state that I've been in for the last couple of weeks.

Today I gave my 2 week notice at my p/t gig. It went SO MUCH BETTER than I expected!!! What a relief!

Got My Hair 'DID'

Well, since I was due for a cut/color anyhow, I seized the moment and fell into peer pressure by my long time hairdresser and got bangs! They're not crazy, dramatic bangs, but certainly noticeable and I think they look really nice. Most of them are long enough to tuck behind the ear or to pin back nicely for different hair styles. Since I'll have to actually do my hair for the new gig, I figured, it should be a cute cut...to actually style. ;-)

When I arrived home after a couple of peaceful hours away from my regular routine this is what I heard...

Jackson: WOW MOMMY! You look great!
Nathan: What are those called? (referring to the bangs)
Trevor: Where did you go?

I think their comments explain their personalities right now to a 'T'! Jackson, always so complementary and observant; Nathan filled with questions non-stop; Trevor goes in and out of being aware of what's happening around him even though he specifically, I told where I was going before I left. lol

Wheels Are Spinning!

My levels of frustration are beyond the max. I want to run to the hills and scream!!! I am not a landlord, homeowner, full time employee, District Representative or Dr. I am SO tired of doing other people's job and not getting paid for it!

Part of the problem is that I have SO MUCH PASSION about SO MANY things/topics/values that I don't know when to be quiet! YES (!), I Anna Fox take on WAY too much, HOWEVER, if people would just do their job (that they're being paid for) then I wouldn't feel the need to do it for them. Of course this is only on issues that directly affect myself or my family. But that's a whole lot of people!

I must go make dinner now, which is MY job.

General Update...Going Down the Line

David: Ribbon cutting at the new office went SPECTACULAR!!! David and his Partners had a record attendance (for a ribbon cutting) of 120 guests. David enjoys his new position and work place very much. There are a few things to tweak, just as any new situation would bring. David is welcoming any new referrals and is hustling quite hard to drum up tax appointments. Every Wednesday night, David still attends his Better Men (Man??? lol), men's group where he has developed a lot of new friendships and the group seems to be helping David quite a bit. Tomorrow, David takes the first of 3 tests for his EA license. You need at least a 70% to pass. I know David will pull this off! :-) Thankfully, there is no suspense...they will let David know immediately if he passed or not.

Anna: Where do I begin?! Well, tomorrow is my job interview at FOX again. Unless they give me an offer that I absolutely would be a HUGE financial idiot to refuse, I will be working additional hours in my current Personal Assistant job. I currently work 10 hrs a week and my increase will get me up to 20 hrs week, giving me 1 day off during the week. I get a day off?!?! Heck NO! That day will be my running errands, grocery shopping day and putting out any new fires in our lives day. Grateful to have that ONE day though...I know most don't! I didn't even realize that my current job could go up to 20 hrs a week (which will really put a cramp or tire around my waist for my exercise schedule I've got going). There is I think, plenty for me to do, and my hours work perfect around school schedules and sports so that's a huge bonus. I know why God has me there, but I will miss the opportunity to be socializing (working) with many different people and many different personalities. I go from one house (mine), to another house (theirs/work)...with a variation of the same challenges that I struggle with in my own home. So no real escape. I'll write it off as "character building". ;-) lol

I have also been juggling "maintance" concerns/problems/landlord(s)/repairs over the last week. Sifting through minimal available rentals that our Realtor e-mails us weekly and going back and forth in my head about moving or not. Every time (ok, it's only happened like 2x since he freaked out at me) I try being graceful and calm about the idea of staying here for another year, something else breaks, backs up, or crappy communication with landlord happens and all grace and calmness goes out the window! "Damn it I'm pleasant"(!), but come on, "you're killing me Smalls"(!).

Still battling LAUSD with the Lice/Nit Policy and now my latest issue/concern with the buses. I am so NOT blogging about that issue just yet! You can thank me later...

Trevor: No need for the Police Academy, Trevor is fix'n on citing people (brothers and parents) left and right if they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing! Holy smokes! This kid needs a CONSTANT reminder (always has) who are the parents and who is the child. With all the pointing out of people's short comings, Trevor has been especially helpful lately. Nearly 99.9% of the time lately, he's been doing what he's been told to do the first time. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Amazing concept and I hope this willing spirit continues on forever. :-) It's spell-a-thon time at school which means Trevor will soon be learning the spelling of some very difficult words, in order to raise money for his school. He really embraces this challenge!

Tonight was his first baseball practice (see previous post for details) and he loved it! Oh, his team is the White Sox.

Jackson: This kid gets funnier by the minute! His witty comments take me by surprise quite often and scares me a bit too...he's a lot like his mother! lol ;-) Jackson definitely has the Italian blood in him. Screaming at everybody one minute, your best friend the next. He knows everybody's business and doesn't hesistate to spill it to everyone around him...wait (!), I'm not like that! hahahahaha... Jackson's baseball team hasn't come up with practice dates or times yet, so he'll be joining big brother this Thursday during their practice so Jackson can get warmed up. I almost forgot! Jackson got drafted from another baseball team during selection (what's it really called???) time. He did so well during the baseball assessments, that 2 teams were going back and forth (nicely) about having him on their team. He is now team, Angels.

School is going really well! 100% I believe on every spelling test this school year and finally his math skills are catching up with his awesome reading skills. :-) There was quite a difference before, but in the last 6 weeks, I have really noticed a positive difference.

Nathan: I think it's been about a week and a half with no requests of homeschooling! Thank God! I want him to enjoy school...in any setting. Nathan is on his last set of site words for Kindergarten and then he'll move on to 1st grade reading words. They're called the "gold" words. He is SO excited for the "gold" words. lol Speech Therapy is still every week and that's going well. I have no clue what team Nathan is on in t-ball so I look forward to hearing who his coach is and getting some details about his practice schedule.

Perry: Still probably the most nervous dog I have ever come across but he's still super cute. He's sporting a new haircut so he's all clean. Unfortunately, he's thrown up 3x (that I am aware of) in the last several days but I am hoping and praying that it's just a little viral bug that will pass soon. Otherwise, he's still at our heels and thinks he's one of the kids.

Play Ball!

All my worries and stresses of the day, month...heck...year (!) were washed away for 1 hr 30 min as I watched Trevor warm up his baseball skills out on the green, crisp ball field. I LOVE BASEBALL SEASON!!! I loved it as a kid (mainly for the snacks and it always falls around my birthday) and now that I have 3 boys, I especially enjoy this all American sport. Fresh air, seeing familar faces from last season and enjoyed some memories as I was sitting at the table where I sat last year enjoying funnel cake with my grandparents from back east, dad and Michelle, during VCAA's annual hit-a-thon. I was brought a sense of comfort and warmth. This is only our 2nd year at Valley Christian Athletic Association and yet everyone feels like family to me there. The kids saw a lot of their old team mates and a couple of their coaches so we all were having a nice visit together.

Baseball season is quite intense but it's so much fun!!! Trevor and Jackson will have games 2x a week in addition to 1 practice every week. Nathan I think will just have 1 n 1 a week. Crunching the games like this will allow our baseball season to end the weekend before Memorial Day. I'm thrilled! Last year was pretty tough juggling the end of the baseball season games/festivities PLUS the end of the school year festivities and projects from teachers at the last minute. So I welcome the crunch! lol

2-n-1

What a CrAzY day!!!

First Half Of Day...

My interview at Fox went really well this morning. The dad that I had initially ran into and made the connection with for this job, was sick today and e-mailed me early this morning to say he would not be in today to interview me, but to go ahead and speak with the other 2 VP's. The security and parking there crazy and seemed as if I was either at LAX or at Disneyland! In making the wrong turn into the proper parking building (1 of like 5 or more), I nearly drove onto a filming set of some sort. I finally managed to make my way to the appropriate building and on my way I went. The first gentleman I interviewed with was very professional, straight forward and I can tell would be a tough nut to crack. The second gentleman was kind, quirky, straight forward but seems a lot more relaxed. He said "you interview very well".

Both guys asked very good questions. One of my faves was "I don't see education on your resume. Tell me a little about your academic achievements" (said by the 2nd guy). I think I nailed it! I answered spot on with, "a high diploma and never went to college. I believe that there is so much more to learn than just what you can find in text books. I have been educated on the job and in real life and have thrived in every professional position I have been in based on my current skills and abilities. I chose not to include education on my resume because just a high school diploma isn't worth bragging about and probably doesn't make an initial good impression so I leave it off".

So now it's a waiting game to see if they offer me a position. The hours are pretty strict and the best they could do is 8-5 p.m. I was told by both guys that the benefits are great. I'll be the judge of that. ;-) The job description sounds pretty intense but I think after a learning curve, I'll be fine. :-)

Second Half Of The Day...

When leaving the interview, I called David to share all the news. He informed me that our Insurance Agent at State Farm is looking for a full-time employee. I gave her a call and without even stopping home or grabbing a bite to eat, I headed straight to her office for another job interview! WOW!!! Fox position and State Farm position couldn't be any different from each other! State Farm would be a Sales Agent position with a small hourly wage in addition to commission. Also, I would have to get licensed in CA so I could write policies myself. My employer (our State Farm Agent) would pay for ALL of the licensing fees AND classes that help/tutor you to pass the tests. There are a total of 2 licenses to acquire. The hours are just about the same as Fox position hours.

My head is spinning with all this information I received today! It's overwhelming and I am still processing all that I took in.

The pro's of State Farm are the con's at Fox...the pro's at Fox are the con's at State Farm.

For Example...

• Fox is much further from home - State Farm is about 20-25 min (at most) from home (and I could takes side streets to get there)
• Fox has "great" benefits - State Farm gives me a $50,000 life insurance coverage for myself...no other benefits
• Initially, I would earn more at Fox - State Farm will take me a bit (depending on sales) to earn the same as Fox position
• Fox is MAJOR Corporate world! - State Farm is professional but much more layed back
• The on the job training at Fox will make me VERY marketable in the LA "industry" (w/out a college degree! ;-)) should I enjoy it and do well at it - State Farm is on a much lesser scale in this regard...but I could make a "name" for myself within the company if I kick butt
• Fox I would be working for someone('s) - State Farm, I am working for someone but I would be able to spread my wings a bit and always meet new people (during marketing and networking)

I clearly have a lot to consider and think about. It's not like either of the companies are knocking at my door making me an offer, but I do feel confident with how both interviews went, so I need to prepare myself.

I do feel like this is what the Lord wants for me (I think! hahahaha...)...to go back to work. It's the only thing that is making sense right now how everything is turning out. Last Wednesday, I was crying out to the Lord asking what His plan was for us with our financial needs, this week, I've had 2 solid job interviews in this tough economy! Our money tree in the backyard isn't baring any fruit (money! lol) and it's not falling from the sky so I suppose God's answer to my prayers are going back to work since those are the doors that continue to open.

To be perfectly honest, I am flattered that I would even be given an opportunity to work at either job, but I am sad about the thought of leaving my children all day and potentially, only seeing them for 30 min M-F. What an extreme that would be for all of us!!! On the other hand, I know that there is no money tree and money will never fall from the sky, so I need to step up and take on this new responsibility and get over it. Still sucks though. :-(