Lately I've been in the thick of it as a mom, wife, employee, friend, etc...mostly the mom, wife and employee role. I've been faced with another season of challenges that I am still in the midst of sorting through, looking for God and His will in all of it and praying what to make of any and all of it. This seems to be a far too often trend that happens in my life. One of my sisters have pointed this out as well, things will be calm for a bit and then a big 'ol chain of challenges occur all at one time. I am grateful for the calm times and resist but then always grateful once I seem to be exiting out of the challenging time or situation, the gratitude part is what I've learned through that storm. It's growing pains really. What I've learned as an adult and certainly in the time as a mom, is that we never really do finish growing up or learning until He takes us to our final home..His home. It's amazing the responsibility as a parent we hold, when yet God is still having to parent us through this rough, dark and difficult world.
See, through my recent challenges, I have found myself doubting if I should be away from my home...working, as an employee. Even while I doubt, I continue to remind myself how strong the conviction was to be working and how for certain, without a doubt that God placed this job practically in my lap...He handed it to me; everything lined up perfectly. He answered my prayers that day when I was crying in my car to my mom about our needs and no direction for those needs...at that time. After hanging up with my mom that day, I prayed. I cried out to the Lord (see old blog post about all that), practically begging! Even when friends or family doubted my decision on working, I held tight with what I thought/is (pretty darn certain!) His will for my family and went through with it. I STEPPED OUT IN PURE FAITH!
Fast forward a few months and I have found myself miserable at my job more often than not. I'm surrounded by people who believe the clear opposite of my political believes (thank God for 2 people who shares the same political believes...for the most part), haven't yet spoken to a Christian...that I know of, bored as all heck 95% of the time, blah, blah, blah... Throughout all this, I have fires to put out at home (thankfully, not literally!), the need for regrouping is huge, and getting some answers to a long list of questions is finally starting to happen. It's been killing me to be leaving my family every morning as we're all going through this. With all this going on and with my negative behavior, I've really lost sight of God's GIFT of a job. A solution to some of our needs.
The Holy Spirit totally and completely spoke through my Pastor today during his sermon at church this morning. I realized I was/am pulling a Peter in Matthew 14:27-32!!! Ha! You see, Peter initially had so much faith and through that faith he started walking on water, towards Jesus until he started doubting and became afraid, then he started sinking and cried out "Lord, save me"! Matthew 14:30 What did Jesus do??? Did He leave him? Did He just stand there and watch? NO! He had grace and mercy on Peter! Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:31
Today's sermon, the Lord's lesson to me today was stop being a doubter! He's got this; He's got ME! Let go, let God!
My Pastor said something that I actually never knew before or I guess it never really registered the way it has today. Pastor Tim said that even when it's God's will, it doesn't mean it's always going to be easy or smooth. When it does start getting rough, satan will plant thoughts of doubt in our minds and spirit because he doesn't want us to be living out God's will for us, that would mean that he (satan) is losing the battle!
Thankfully I have tools for this battle. I have prayer, my bible, prayerful friends and best of all, the Lord as my warrior. I need to take up my cross with shields of armor and continue in this battle staying focused and unweary of God's plan. I'm doing everything I can for my families' needs and I need to continue to be in prayer for that. None of this means I'll be working forever, this means that God has me exactly where He wants me right now. I cannot look backwards or side to side. Power forward with His strength, guidance and decernment.
Fave quote today:
"Ministry is always dealing with the impossible" - Pastor Tim
GREAT post Chicken!
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